So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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