I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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