just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
