sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
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