I think i sorta joined a cult last night
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
