I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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