FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
