I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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