I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
