umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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