We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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