I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
