I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize