Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
