I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
