Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
There are leaves in my underwear?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
