there's paper in my vomit.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
