He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
