...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
