it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
