you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize