is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I have demons in me.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
