My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Randomize