I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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