I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Can you bring me the toilet please
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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