all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Randomize
