youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Randomize
