...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
