Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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