She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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