Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I think a kid would responsible me up
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize