Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
