The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Randomize
