i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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