Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Randomize
