K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
