and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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