I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
