Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
