the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
