Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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