Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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