I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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