so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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