is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
this boner is exhausting
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
