If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
It's never too late to be topless.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Randomize
