Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
