i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
