I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Randomize
