Screwed.edu
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
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