Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
