is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
