6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
