I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
