Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
