I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
