Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
