You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
