my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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