I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
You are a genius and a whore.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
