I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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