it wasn't lemon gatorade
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Randomize
