So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
We need a shit load of segways right now
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize
