last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
