Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Randomize
